from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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