i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
