Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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