i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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