shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
