yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
