Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
