what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
