i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
