Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
