I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
