Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize