Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
