using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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