How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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