Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
