i already hear my dad disowning me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
