i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
