Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
