oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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