Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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