If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
