LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
