He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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