She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
