just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize