The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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