he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
A bitchslap is in order.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
