Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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