I have demons in me.
You smell like stripper and shame
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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