when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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