She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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