i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
