3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
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