Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
