I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
