I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize