just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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