well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
