the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
