Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
