i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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