I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
