I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Randomize
