should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
