Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
