After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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