Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
