ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
