Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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