Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
