I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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