Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
