We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So much Jack, so little girl.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
