do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You were trust falling into bushes
I am mentally ready for anal.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
