Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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