their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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