17 year olds will be the death of me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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