We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
